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How not to approach child custody as a competition

By the end of a marriage, many Kentucky couples subconsciously enter into an atmosphere in which they are pitted one against the other. The divorce becomes more of a competition to see who "wins" regardless of the issue. This approach is not healthy for either party, and is certainly not healthy for the children. When it comes to child custody issues, making it a competition only ends up hurting the children -- not just in the short term, but in the long term as well.

Raising children can be challenging enough without Kentucky parents working to sabotage each other. This puts additional and unnecessary stress on everyone. Instead of looking at the issue from a competitive standpoint, it may better serve the children to realize that they need both of their parents. The divorce is about the end of your marriage, not about the end of being a family.

It may take some time to come to this conclusion, but once that realization occurs, you and the other parent can work together to make sure that the divorce has less impact on the children. Of course, changes are inevitable under these circumstances. However, when you decide to work together instead of against each other, your children will be the winners.

Coming to a child custody agreement that serves the best interests of your children will more than likely require you and the other parent to focus more on your parental relationship than on your marital one. Once you can come together as parents, you may be able to minimize the stress, anxiety and fear your children may be experiencing. Moreover, how you work together during this challenging time could help set the tone for a cooperative and amicable co-parenting relationship in the future.

Source:, "Coparenting Tips for Ending Competition", Jennifer Wolf, Accessed on April 9, 2018

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