One of the biggest adjustments that children have to face when parents divorce is having to live in two homes. Each home likely has its own rules and there might be some big differences. As a parent, you have to help your children learn how to enjoy life in two homes.
In some cases, children do much better if their parents take the time to work out mutually agreeable rules for important matters — and then enforce those rules over both households. Younger children, for example, may do better if they have a consistent bedtime on school nights. Older children might need consistent rules about social media usage.
Here are a few tips that can help with this process:
Think about your child’s unique needs
Children have unique needs. You have to think about those when you’re trying to help them adjust to the new way of life. Setting up your home so it embraces things that they enjoy and that are age-appropriate can help them to settle in.
Give the kids their own space
Each child needs an area of their own. This doesn’t mean that they each need their own bedroom, but they do need personal space where they can keep their things. Having drawers for their clothes and a place for toys or other special items is important. If possible, let the child have a say in some aspects of the home. Helping decide paint colors or furniture could show them that your home truly is their home.
Get a good parenting plan in place
The parenting agreement you and your ex set up is the foundation for the future. Committing to being a parenting team is beneficial for the adults and children because the kids can count on support from both parents. The arrangement terms you have set up should reflect what the kids need now because modifications can occur if those needs change.